Parenting Now for Friendship Later
Margaret and her son, Justin, will share ways to parent in the teen years that will foster loving friendship between you and your child in their adult years. What a tremendous opportunity to hear reflections from a mother and a son about building a foundation of relationship, trust, respect, boundaries, and grace.
Margaret has been married to Michael Redemer for 38 years. They have two grown sons, two daughters-in-law, six grandchildren, and warm relationships with all. A member of Community Presbyterian Church in Danville, Margaret is the elder overseer of Women’s Ministries.
Margaret is a devout Christian seeking to put Christ first in her life and in her relationships. Margaret and her husband are trained in marriage mentoring and lead the Marriage Mentoring Ministry at CPC. In her spare time, Margaret is a local realtor.
GEMs of Wisdom from "Parenting Now for Friendship Later" by Margaret Redemer and Justin Redemer
Moms, finding our stride and balance as we walk-in-faith on the path from our role as parent toward one as mentor was so nicely illuminated by Margaret and her son, Justin.
Listen for the shift in the procession of parenting:
While our kids are little, we parent, parent, parent, parent, parent.
While our kids are in high school, we parent, parent, mentor, parent, parent.
While our kids are college age, we mentor, mentor, mentor, parent, mentor.
When our kids are post-college, we mentor...upon request.
Isn’t that great?! We can do this. Moms, let’s remember and encourage one another.
Now, considering that we are still in the parenting years, here are six steps that can build friendship later:
1) Parent Your Teen. Model love and respect. Be intentional about spiritual training, teaching, boundaries, and discipline. Be careful of relaxing the rules if it’s primarily because you wish to avoid a conflict.
2) Practice What You Preach. Hypocrisy undermines, and kids can spot it a mile away. Authenticity fosters mutual respect.
3) Share Each Other’s Passions. Spend time together even in ways that may surprise you such as reading a book together, learning about a sport, going on adventures, sharing a love of history or other subject, doing mission trips together.
4) Keep an Open Door Policy. Safeguard your home as a haven. But for the independent adult kid, here’s some humor that might come in handy, “If you need a place, come home. The first month is free.”
5) Exasperate Less, Bless More. Cultivate a family code that is memorable and unifies. It may be noble, funny, or simple such as“No whining” or “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Have fun with it. Ask your kids and see if you already have one that has emerged in your family, and then make it official!
Very importantly, may we always remember how much our children long for our blessing. Write “Blessing” letters to them. (For more about “Blessing” letters, ask a mom who attended GEM).
6) Grace and Forgiveness. It’s a two-way street. We need to seek our sons and daughters for forgiveness when we err in parenting.
Ask a mom who attended GEM for more about the stories Margaret and Justin shared and the how the Redemer family honors God in the ways and places He has called them.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:24
